I think things are headed in the right direction now

I have the appointment for my brace fitting it will be august 21. I can not wait. I am getting really frustrated with the lack of independence that I have right now. I am still unable to take more than ten steps in the boot without losing balance. Family is starting to get frustrated because they feel that I am doing it to be lazy and that hurts so much because that isn't true. I want so badly to walk. if i wanted to be dependent I wouldn't have had the surgery. I would have let the contracture and the actual term for my condition planters flex get worse and just let them do it al. I chose the more painful route so I could remain independent for longer. I am just frustrated and beyond words for how long and hard this past year has been. Please just let me get through the next day is all I keep saying to myself.
I definitely know that no one realizes how much cerebral palsy still affects my life today. the doc at the rehab facility asked me why I feel with the boot on and better yet why I was still on crutches and he is on them due to a permanent issue with his legs as well. I am not sure what it is but lets just say it was a bit awkward and embarrassing I felt so small. i do not understand why people can not just try to understand how this is for me. They seriously keep telling me i could be in dads shoes which trust me i am thankful that I am not He is my hero. he is so strong to get through this. His strength has kept me going to get to where I want to be agian. I want my dad back It just int the same without him.
On o good note the floors are nearly done for him so he can come home Tuesday yay my dad is comming home. It isn't coming fast enough I want it now I miss him so much I have not been in to visit him the past couple weeks cause I have just been too down and i do not want to bring him down with me. he does not need it.
I have been struggling with how CP has and is till affecting me lately I know the damage is non progressive but I still do not think people understand that my level of spasticity really fluctuates with weather fatigue and just in general from day to day. the student PT tried to say that I did not have any tone in my leg when she was doing passice range of motion on my knee well she found it in the portion where the knee is bent back. they said it is mild. Well just so happens that I made sure I had enough sleep the night before lol and that i was as relaxed as possible.
I have a major fear that after this surgery I am not going to be able to regain my independence to the point that i want and it scares me really alot it has just been a tough time for me right now I am still trying to keep a smile on my face but it isn't easy sorry for the book but I just needed to get it off my chest
I have also been retaining fluid but they tested kidney function and it is still good o I am on low sodium diet and elevating my feet which ha I have not been able to elevate since Thursday because of everything going on but the good news is my kidneys are functioning