my brain is in thinking mode having some contemplation with myself

here is what has been going through my head basically since thanksgiving. i have been really thinking that i need to learn how to live more independantly. I need to know how to pay the bills and things if something happens to my parents and need to feel fufilled with this stuff. here is the delema. i dont talk to mom about this because it really upsets her because for some reason i feel that she thinks she will be here forever. I wish that were the case but that is not how it works and I am in good enough condition to do things independantly just neeed so way to learn how and some way to get more independance with my transportation.
i know my options but i am really having a huge issue bringing this up to my family. I dont want to make them feel that i dont like living with them because I do honestly its just the thought of what am i going to do when that dreaded event happens and trst me I am not wishing it on anyone Mu parents are great this is just been going thoguh my mind actually for quite some time and i have brought it to my parents attention and they had the reaction of i hate living with them. i dont hate living with them here I just sometimes feel trapped because there is not any form of public transportation in out town. i dont want to sound selfish but if i dont learn how to be independant now when am I ever going to.
here is another question are these thoughts that go through every ones mind or am I just worrying for no reason at all. i just dont know who i will turn to if soemthing does happen and being unsure is really not comforting. mom and i have had a constructive conversation on it and she agrees that there are not many family members i could actually count on if something should happen to her most of my family members help out now because she is there to explain things to them and that i need to have transportaiton to my appointments because when i try and explain they just get frustrated and think i dont need to see the docs and i am using my medical issues to get attention which is really hard. i love my family and my parents are the best in the world and if it were not for them I would not be who I am now but there is so much to think about pretaining to my future and it scares me sometimes because in my house mom is the only driver besides my sister who has her son to be concerned with and im sure she wont be here forever either lol not in death terms just she will move on. but any how I dont think anything is going to happen in the really near future but it is somrhting tha needs thought or at least i feel it deffinately does.

had a really good day yesterday

Thanks giving was really good yesterday. I helped stuff the turkey and heled make the stuffing and put the turkey in the oven and a few other things so mom didnt have to do so much on her own. We had a really nice day and it was actually relaxed usually everyone is crazy trying to figure out what to do or needs to be done lol typical holiday behavior for our family lol but this one was very relaxed and went off withour a hitch. The day was spent with family all day and with the two puppies that was interesting but it was good all and all I enjoyed it very much despite my not feeling 100 percent

happy thanks giving

happy thanks giving to all who follow my blog. I had a wonderful thanks giving gift today ha ha not. the GI ordered more blood work when i went in so i went to have that drawn at my primary docs office and low and behold it was five tubes. The lady even sat and told me the colors lol two yellow two red and one purple cap. I had my CMP CBC Viotamin D thyroid stim hormone and a sed rate drawn. so needless to say it was not a bad blood draw things went smoothly but not my favorite thing to do just before thanksgiving.
I am not feeling too wwell again today I am cramping badly and very naseuated. i am hoping this round it may just be a 24 hour bug cause mom just got over something this past weekend. I dont want to go for another three months in pain. I do however intend to enjoy the time iwth my family as much as will be allowed with my not feeling well.
my bladder pain is being very annoying right now as well. between my stomach and bladder today has not been a very quiet day lol. i did manage to cook the pumpkin pie earlier and make it to my appointment so i think I can call it a productice day

a little on everything

Well the upside my stomach is feeling better. I have been using the philips and today started the colase. I feel so much better now I am not cramping anymore at this moment. As far as the IC goes I am taking the Elmiron but it could take up to six months to fully work. Right now the bladder is doing pretty good too. It has calmed down alot since the proceedure has been done. it took about threee days to calm down but it is doing well for the moment.
As far as the Cp aspect goes it is there lol. I am having some increased joint pain because of the cold and increased spasticity but I am hanging in there. I went out with the family yesterday for the first time isn a while. We dont really go out shopping and things unless it is around the holidays So I am glad i was feeling well enough to go. the only hard part is needing to know where the restrooms are because even though my bladder has calmed down i still have alot of freequency.
We are starting to decorate for christmas which is fun with the puppies not really lol. the have knocked some of them down already lol I have my nephew today so I will be busy and on my toes all day so i am taking the time while others are here to post this. I have a lab appointment for more blood work on wednesday and then I hope I will be set with docs until January.
I have a few things now with the Elmiron that i have to watch for but that is nothing new for me side effects are just a part of my life lol. i really have to watch for abnormal bruising though because the Elmiron can cause blood thining. I dont understand how but I know it can because of the patient information packet so im going to be over bigilent for a few months lol. It is so hard for me to put mew medications into my body i hate it. Right now I feel like my life revolves around meds.
I take meds for my bowels in the morning and an elmiton then in between I take my usual daily meds for blood pressure depression and a few other things then at noon i take another Elmiron then at five anotehr one and then before bed my other medication for my bowels. it is so difficult but worth it if they help. I definatley know the bowel regiment of colase and philips are helping still skeptikel on the elmiron. That is the hardest of the meds to take I have to take it one hour before or two hours after a meal so it requires some planning

Gastro appointment today

Well the gastro appointment went well as far as I am concerned. I am now suposed to be taking milk of magnisia pils and colase 1 or 2 pills a day for the next four to six weeks. I was doing the metamucil and wondering why i was getting more cramps well that question was answered too. she said that i was just putting more stuff on top of an already congested belly and it was probably not helping much. she told me that I needed to get my bowels moving more regularly and then add the metamucil back into the diet. i need to ask if there is one that is not flavored out there lol they taste nasty. i went to try and get the stuff at the pharmacy and they did not have the pill form of milk of magnisia so yeah im waiting to see if they can order it in for me.
i had a different doctor today and i was talking to her telling her about being born early and that i almost had to have my bowels scraped to get them moving as a baby. she asked if I was in maine medical center in the NICU ansd I told her that i was and she proceeded to tell me that she was most likely one of the nurses that took care of me when i was there. I find it kind of nice to know that i have met one of the people who may have taken care of me and I also at teh same time find it kind of surprising but any how i hope she was one who did care for me because she is very caring. i have to keep my appointment for january to see how the new recomendations are working.
I was suposed to take the meralax but after the taste of it in the gatorade I dont think I can stomach it. After it disolved it was not horrible but it is just the thought of it lol that is whey i asked to be put on a pill form. i also have to have more labs drawn yaya not. i am having CBC CMP thyroid and vitamin D tested i think there may be a few more in there im not sure.
i am going to take my first dose of elmiron today. i will only be able to get one dose in but it is a start. i am nervos about it as I am with any medication that is new to me. I dread it actually but it needs to be taken to see if it will help. I am hoping that it does. Other than that a fairly ordinary day today.

another aspect of living with many chronic conditions PA from the insurance

I just heard that the PA for my medication for the IC called Elmeron was aproved so now I am going to have to go through the Pa process with two of my medications now the other is for my reflux it is not really that difficult for me since i dont have to submit the paper work the docs do that I am just the one who waits for aproval or denial notices. thankfully as it stands now they are both approved i hope with all the change that is most like;y comming our way for medical purposes will mean thaat it is still covered.

another chronic yet treatable condition for me

Well as I said yesterday wehn I posted one of the posts i had my catheterization test done. the IC suspission is confirmed. Not what I wanted but it was what was suspected. the cath was tough but mom was there to hold my hand and yes even big people need that sometimes lol. They instilled both solutions one was not too bad the other made me want to fly off the table and go pee within like two minutes. It burned alot and then when we were finished she put the rescue solution into my bladder and it was like gone within a few minutes it was so cold that it basically numbed my bladder instantly. it felt like Ice was going in there. and not often does ice feel good in the bladder but this time I was glad for the relief.
She asked me which solution I thought had the potassium in it after the test and I answered her question with 100 percent accuracy. it was number 2 and it is not alwasy given in this fassion they switch it around so that it keeps the test more accurate but trust me If you have IC you know imediately basically which solution it is it feels much different that the saline solution from the get go. with me it felt much colder and I imediately felt the need to urinate and then as it sat there longer i got pain and burning. not exactly how i wanted to spend my tuesday afternoon but hey its over with now. I got my flu vaccine as well so i do not need to make another trip to see the primary as of yet. I am hoping to get a few months after all of the Gi stuff is done and the OB is done.