Another new diagnosis

I have been diagnosed with another condition since august. this one is called Gastroparesis Or GP for short. It is a condition where  my stomach does not empty the way it should. It empties too slowly. This causes pain nausea and severe pain at times. This has resulted in many hospital trips this year for me. This condition is by far the hardest one for me to manage and get to a point with that I am feeling good. I have for the moment gone to taking all calories and protien and nutrition through luquids. I have been making shakes for the last three days. I am on a medication called domperidone for this as well. It is not FDA approved in the united states but It is one last option before I face the choice of placement of a feeding tube which may or may not be a permanent thing after it is placed.
I am still struggling with this right now today but I have had three good days with my GP this week and I pray that the streak of luck continues. The doctors seem to believe that a viral infection caused my immune  system to attack and damage my vagus nerve aka the nerve that controls the function of the stomach. I have not been on the new medication long enough to know weather it is going to help or not yet but so far it is not causing any significant side effects for me. The challenge is going to be remembering to take it four times a day. I tried all other methods of treatment for the GP I tried a medication called Raglan for this as well and it was very unsuccessful. I had many of the neurological and other side effects of the raglan. I started to develop the condition called tar-dive dyskenisia. This is a movement disorder that is caused by the medication that can become permanant if the medication is continued long term.
I have lost 60 pounds since around this time last year. There are many out there who are more severe with GP than I am and for my less severe case I am thankful but the pain is so intense sometimes for me it is unbearable. I am supposed to limit my pain medication intake because the medeications to help control my other chronic pain conditions slow the digestive system further which thus increases pain in my stomach.
It has been an incredible long year and I have learned that you find the strength to go on even when you no longer think you have it in you. I truly believe in the saying you never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left. this has been a very scary year for me I have felt like I was dying at times due to not being able to hold down foods or fluids for sometimes days and up to a week at a time and this yes resulted in hospital trips for rehydration. I have been to the point where I was begging the hospital to just place the feeding tube and let me keep it because the pain was so bad but I felt so sick from not eating or drinking anything or when I did it coming back up.
This has been very confusing for me because I am one to listen to doctors and my body and their message was always no matter how sick you are get nutrition well this GP stuff is very different. I have days where I have been on clear liquids only I have days where I am on a full liquid diet with shakes and all fluids I still have some days where I can eat however it is not the normal amout to maintain nutrition. the body sends and recieves very mixed messages with GP. It feels hungary sometimes but then you put food in and the pain intensifies so its always a conceios choice of weather to eat or just take in nutritionallly balanced fluids like ensure and boost or shakes that I mix with protien and nutritional powder and other fruits and veggies. I will post more on GP in the future I have not been blogging much as no one really seems to be following