here is what has been going through my head basically since thanksgiving. i have been really thinking that i need to learn how to live more independantly. I need to know how to pay the bills and things if something happens to my parents and need to feel fufilled with this stuff. here is the delema. i dont talk to mom about this because it really upsets her because for some reason i feel that she thinks she will be here forever. I wish that were the case but that is not how it works and I am in good enough condition to do things independantly just neeed so way to learn how and some way to get more independance with my transportation.
i know my options but i am really having a huge issue bringing this up to my family. I dont want to make them feel that i dont like living with them because I do honestly its just the thought of what am i going to do when that dreaded event happens and trst me I am not wishing it on anyone Mu parents are great this is just been going thoguh my mind actually for quite some time and i have brought it to my parents attention and they had the reaction of i hate living with them. i dont hate living with them here I just sometimes feel trapped because there is not any form of public transportation in out town. i dont want to sound selfish but if i dont learn how to be independant now when am I ever going to.
here is another question are these thoughts that go through every ones mind or am I just worrying for no reason at all. i just dont know who i will turn to if soemthing does happen and being unsure is really not comforting. mom and i have had a constructive conversation on it and she agrees that there are not many family members i could actually count on if something should happen to her most of my family members help out now because she is there to explain things to them and that i need to have transportaiton to my appointments because when i try and explain they just get frustrated and think i dont need to see the docs and i am using my medical issues to get attention which is really hard. i love my family and my parents are the best in the world and if it were not for them I would not be who I am now but there is so much to think about pretaining to my future and it scares me sometimes because in my house mom is the only driver besides my sister who has her son to be concerned with and im sure she wont be here forever either lol not in death terms just she will move on. but any how I dont think anything is going to happen in the really near future but it is somrhting tha needs thought or at least i feel it deffinately does.
I have been thinking so much about this post, both from your point of view and from your parents. From their point of view I can see the concern they have and I can imagine that it's hard to think about not having you there every day. While I hope that Malayna is able to be independent one day, I can't imagine her leaving the nest! But from your point of view I think you are absolutely right, you need to learn to be independent. Unfortunately, parents aren't around forever and as hard as it would be to have you separate from them, it should be a comfort to them to know that you'll be okay when they're not. So I think it's something you should talk to your Mom about and explain how you're feeling and what you want and explain why it's good for both of you. Good luck and keep us posted!
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