I am feeling lost. I wake with cramps most days go to sleep with them. I feel like pain is taking over my life again. I want to do so much for one getting back to being able to babysit on the weekends. I miss that so much. I cant do it right now though cause I nevr know when the unbearable neasua is going to get me or the cramps that just happen when they decide. I am afraid to go far from home right now. i basically go to appointments and with my parents and my aunt and that is it. I have not even ben able to visit my firend in over a month because of them being busy and my issues boy think depression is setting in again aghhhhh. this is my least favorite part because for so long i fight against it but then every time it gets the better of me with each bought of pain. I miss being able to smile without having to force it out. I am just so tired sorry I am complaining yet again but hey its my blog so i guess i have the right ot do that.
My hip is bothering me again but that is my secret for now unless it gets to the point of not being able to walk I refuse to go through more hell than I have to. I think its just becausse it is getting colder and my spasticity has been increased lately because of the cold. i am hoping that if i use heat for a few hours tonight it will calm down some. It is so hard to have so much pain and little explanation for it sometimes it would be easier to have something that shows when they look for it at least it would not be iluding the docs anymore. and to my followers since i see i now have four brendan i like the new wheels Malayna i love the ABCs sweet girl I hope to get to know Brendan like I have Malayna even though its not a personal relationship and to steph if you follow regularly and have any questions about CP please feel free to shoot them my way and i will do my best to help you in any wany I can.
No comments:
Post a Comment