another appointment update

I had my GYN appointment today  It went well. I go back in three months. She asked if I wanted to wait six months or stay with three and I chose to stay with three for the time being because I am afraid If I go longer things are going to go down hill. this is the usual path that my endometriosis takes. I feel more comfortable staying with three month checks. she was very agreeable to this thankfully she is usually understanding. Her response was lets not mess with a good thing. the IUD still has not stopped my cycles completely however they are less frequent and shorter. I had a week of pain that was really debilitating and the rest of the pain i was able to muster
She said to me today that she wished that I was forty or so because she could take the problem out but she does not want to do this as there is more and more documentation showing that hysterectomy before forty causes increased risk of so many health issues and in her and my opinion I have much less to worry about with the endometriosis. she asked if i was dealing with things OK and I told her ya I'm dealing with things I'm tired of dealing with them but I am hanging in as best I can. I am struggling though with how I am going to get through until I'm forty. this is not saying I do not support what the doctor is doing I am just not sure how I'm going to deal with the pain. I guess I will take it day by day that is all i can do.
chronic medical conditions are so frustrating at times. right now I know i am making the right choice for me but I still feel like I want to cry. I feel like I am just meant to be in pain. My pain is much better managed but I am now knowing that this is going to be a life long issue. I knew that before but I still had hope that I could convince her to do the surgery but the more she talks to me about it and the side effects of the surgery the more I do not want to have it its really tough and confusing