Im still hangin in

The craziness continues. the new medication she put me on for muscle spasm took a lot to adjust to but i think im finally starting to feel normal again lol. I got a really bad migraine that lasted three days but that seems to finally be gone. I can not see an actual chiropractor because my primary care works with a DO who does spinal manipulation so i am limited to using him because they do not refer outside of the practice. I am OK with this as it is covered fully by my insurance. the other place that we were able to find that took Maine care i would have had to pay out of pocket for the initial visit and the six month follow up as my insurance does not cover those with a chiropractor. the person who i spoke to also said something about me needing to pay a membership fee to be a patient there so I am in a way very glad to have this going in my favor. Really hoping that getting my spine aligned will help with the constant dull ache in my pelvis. I asked for a hysterectomy again and she still feels that it is not in my best interest because I am already starting to have thinning of the bones which is pretty depressing because i know that i will be suffering with this pain well into my forties. Really praying that once my time comes closer she will be willing to take the step and do the surgery. I totally understand where she is coming from however im exhausted from it all. I am hoping with all hope for another two months of feeling just the dull ache which has pretty much became normal for me. I have scheduled my manipulation for the 6th of February I believe it is don't remember totally. I feel so lost in the midst of doctors its not a good feeling for sure this is not where i pictured myself being at 27 but I have to deal with what I am given. Depression has been in my court quite a bit these days which does not make things any easier for sure Im not sure f it is from being cooped in the house because of winter or because of everything going on or from the meds but i am not liking it at all Thank you all of my readers for the support you give it is much appreciated.

another updaate alot going on latley

I had a really tough weekend with pain over the weekend and ended up in the er on the 13th because i could not get my pain controlled here at home. I had another follow up with gyn on Tuesday the 16th and she put me on more medication for the muscle spasms and referred me to a chiropractor she also mentioned something about a pain guy at mercy hospital and injections of some sort not a huge fan of the injections but I will try anything that might help. I will keep you updated on how things are going. I asked for another surgery however she would not give me a hysterectomy because of my already thinning bones so im stuck with this for some time to come.

an update on things

Now that I have finally gotten access to my blog again I will update you all on how I have been doing. I have been having hip pain again and started physical therapy for that yesterday which means its really sore today but I am hoping that it will diminish soon. I am still seeing positive affects with continued pelvic floor therapy which is good. To Emma I didn't get alot for Christmas but that's OK with me I got what i really wanted a new i pod to replace the one that got dropped and broken and some clothes but the best part of my Christmas was that I felt well enough to actually really enjoy the day and all of my family. also Emma yes i still have my brace that goes on my left leg I will have it forever now to keep my foot straight because if it does not stay straight I can not have any further surgery on it so I am making the smart choice to keep the brace on as much as I don't like it. I finally got my yearly upper respiratory infection shortly after Christmas and i am still battling with it now but it is getting better each day. I had to be put on antibiotics because of the fear that it was bacterial since it hung on so long.I meant to post holiday pics but have not done so yet I am hoping to get time really soon but my lil four month old nephew keeps me pretty busy all week i am quickly posting before he wakes up for some breakfast

heres another song for all of you enjoy

I love thsi song and video this young lady also has cerebral palsy the song is by willow smith and if you search this beautiful young lady on youtube she has many other videos that will inspire thsoe of us with cp

second week of devember is almost over here comes the dreaded snow

this winter has been hard for me even though the temps have been fairly cooperative. Spasticity is not being so cooperative. the snow is coming which is increasing my anxiety on wanting to go outside at all with the fear of falling which i have already done once since it has gotten colder. This is why depression sets in for me so much this time of yearI miss the warmer weather where i can go out and enjoy the out doors already. I really want to swim this comming summer I have not been able to do that in three years i did sit in the water a bit last summer which felt awsome.
I have been thinking really hard on my new years resolution. i dont normally make on ebut i need to this year with everything that has happened to me and my family i need to get healthier. I want to get back to my low sodium diet and also try to lose some weight to see if that helps with my pain. I think the hardest part of losing the weight is sticking to the exercise part withte increase spasticity I get so tired so quick latley but i feel that i really need to do this But i can say im going to neesd lots of continued encouragement on those days where i just dont feel liek doing anything  and lots of people telling me its ok when those moments do come that I physically can not do the exercise because of the pain.
I dont want to have to rely on meds to control my pain I want to be as med free as possible and try to live as activve of a life as possible which i do with watching my nephew but i need to get healthie. writing this also for the bad days i have i can go back and look at it and realize how much this means to me. I have done it once but the second time seems as though its gonna be a bit tougher lol I am going to take pics of our holiday decor soon and post them for you all to enjoy

Another year older so not wanting another irthday lol

I turned 27 on friday it feels so weird to say 27. I dont feel any different being 27 and am happy to be through another year and am looking forwantrd to the new year in hopes of continued better health. this year i have to say has been one of the most trying ones yet from moment one. the endometriosis was pure hell for a long time then the ankle started really gettign tight which was kind of a shock then the surgery for the ankle and the endometriosis within two months of each other and the stroke that dad had I am definately looking for better days ahead.
thigs are more positive now though I am in less pain with teh ankle after the surgery although i can not walk very much without my AFO. the endo is fairly calm except for about a week out of each month right now and I am well aware that it more than likley will progressibly return to severe pain but I am enjoying the time i have that is with less pain.
My hip is still giving me trouble and so is my spactisity I am very nervous about what next year will bring. my legs are really painful this year and it is hard to walk this winter I am afraid that i will need assistive equipment in the next few years but if that comes I will get through that as well. 
I am starting PT for the hip on Monday not looking forward to it and really wondering what is next if it doesnt help very nercous with that as well. I have done cortisone shots had a bone scan mri x rays in the past and nothing showed. 
Things witht he body are so much harder to understand with cp. I know that pain is a normal part of spasticity but i did not invision things getting this difficult this early.
I got a call from the physyatrist teh other day which I had no clue was comming i was seen by him six month or so ago and it was left with not knowing why i was there so no appointment was scheduled at that time or not that i was aware of so i went about my life and started the process of getting back to normal with the pt that i need and then tehy call i was liek I had no idea i was suposed to return to ou guys i thought I was through with service since the doctor didnt reallly descrive what he wanted so I am not sure what to think on that but i am taking tings step by step and day by day that is all that we can do.
I hope that everyone has wonderful hollidays what ever it be that you celevrate and may the new year bring new hope for all of us

update and welcome to december

it is hard to believe that another year has nearly gone by. this year has been a very long one for all of us. So many things have happened. two surgeries for me dad having his stroke teh birth of my new oh so handsome nephew the death of my puppy. But I have come through it all a stronger better person. There have been so many times where it has seemed impossible but I have done it.
another wonderful thing that happened this year is I met my wonderful counselor that i see now who has been wonderful to me. 
now on to the update on me. I have finished pelvic pt and I am very sad that I can not return there for my orthopedic pt I loved my pt's that i worked with at holistic pt they were wonderful all of their office staff are great but on a good note I am starting pt for my hip again on the 17th of December at mercy physical therapy center in Portland  Really and truly hoping it relieves some of the pain again  I am not in the mood for invasive shots or injections of dye again to see what is going on but I will do what i need to do to feel better.
I am not sure how many older people with cerebral palsy follow me or read without following but I have been experiencing a big increase in my spasticity this year especially since it has gotten cold wondering if this is common  wishing there was a doc out there that just dealt with cerebral palsy and took the time to figure out what is what with the condition.
I am really just confused and sad because I am afraid that because of pain and tightness i am not going to be able to walk in a few more years. I fell the other day in my driveway because of spasms and scuffing my toe despite the AFO which does help. It is really hard to walk without it well i think that's about it for now i will update more as the month goes on