in response to amys comment and some more about why surgry is scaring me so much this round lol

that is exactly why i mustered up all the energy to clean my house lol i needed to take my mind off of it all. My way of taking my mind off of things at tiems is to do things that make it so i do not think about it even if it pretty much kicks my butt. i was exahusted but i know if I do not keep it up now until surgery there will be that much more to do when we are recovering thank god moms is suposed to be fast and yes GYN surgery sucks but id go back to my partial hystorectomy march 13th if it meant that i did not have to do this one
I think the hardest part is losing my freedom for eight weeks it makes for a very grumpy me and i have it in writing no weight bearing and only able to be out of bed to use the bathroom until instructed otherwhise gonna be a long road thank god mom took me shopping and got me some coloring and stuff to amuse me durring recovery the only thng that is making me go through with the surgery is the fact that I know my body and i know if i do not have it i will be in a chair with in a matter of a few years because my pain has increased alot. I pray each day that it is not as bad as the last one but my ortopedic that i had prior to this one said any tendo surgery is worse pain tahn a borken bone ugh th other portion that scares me alot is that with the endometriosis and constant sometimes severe pain that i was having before the GYN surgery is that I have built up a tollerance to pain meds. not to the point where they are not effective at all but it does take more to get optimal relief so im a bit nercous I will have to stay on top of it for the first month or so and hope for the best.
this is honestly like a nightmare come true  i have been afraid for this day since i had my first surgery at sixteen. i told mom that i never wanted my foot touched again  and honestly even for anyone to touch my foot is liek torture it does not hurt but i just react to it i hate itI will be looking for updated posts on miss emma  and also malayna
I will be posting pictures of what my foot looks liek without shoes on right now and then some after surgery and things once i get back up and about thank you sheila and amy for the encouragement and suport