this is for many reasons, One is the two yr annaversary of my diagnosis of endo isthree days before on the fourth and it is so hard right now to know that I have been battling this official diagnosis for two years but have had it much longer just never knew the name. You know The endo is the hardest condition i live with every day. Yes people see my physical limitatios and grieve them for me but endo they can not see they do not understand and it is invisable so all in all I and the others who have endo are the only ones who truly can understand what I am saying wen i say things about endo. it is the same withe the CP but others can see that i have dificulties and seem to be more willing to accept that where since they can not see this they prefer to say that ts not real I have a wonderful suport system do not get me wrong but with this desiease i sometimes feel so alone.
another reason im not wanting to be another year older is my CP is starting to limit me as well my baklance is changing my fetigue is increasing my muscles are tighter right now than they have been in a long time. having the hip pain again waiting for my ortho appointment i just feel like everything comes crashing down around the holidays. I did get my recumbant bike for birthday christmas present so I am hoping with the use of that i can build up some strength again as it will be easier than walking because im not fighting my body to keep it balanced very excited about that after christmas yay.
You know I often have people who will talk to me and say i dont see how you manage to smile at all. i do not really know how to respond to this but honestly if those of us with chrinic ilness didnt find something to be happy for in life what would the point be I sometimes spend a few hours of every day looking for a positive but find one none the less yes there are some days that i just isolate and hide but there could be so many more so now i am going to make a list of things that I am greatful for to add positive to a somewhat negative post
my family
my puppy jake
my wonderful parents yes they are family but they are in a class all their own thanks mom and dad for being so wonderful.
My wonderful primary care doctor and gyn
my counsoler
and the fact that i have had 26 years to learn and grow and realize what really matters to me and it is not meterail things lieke with some it is the people that i surround myslef with oh yes and I am so thankful for my endo sisters and also my fellow blog followers sorry for the long post its just been kind of a trying day here hugs to all of you
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