well lets see I dont think ive gone a motnh in 2011 without a doctors appointment. i am so tired. I just go another appointment in the mail for my gyn i have to go see her on April 11 and soemtime between now and then she is hoping i get into the urologist but i have not heard on that one yet and i already have a nephrologist (kidney specialist) follow up on march 25.
i just want a few months without seeeing any doctors. i am trying so hard. I have not seen my Primary Doctor since december i believe so i am doing fairly well there. i just completely need a break. igot a letter from the care management stating that my health seemed stable now and that i did not need their service anymore ha ha my healt is stable minus almost constant pain that i am learning to just live with now. i refuse to go to the hospital anymore it takes forever and thee isnt much they can do anymore. I just manage it home right now i will more than likely reach a time where I cant anymore but lets hope that is far in the future. It scares me to think about most of this it is fearful not knowing what kind of pain i will be in every day. Today I feel like i have razor blades inside of my bladder and I have cramps from the endometriosis so yep this is the end of my february in a nut shell.
there have been positives honestly. mom and i had a talk about me needing independance. She admist that i need more away time but she also says that she wants me close so that she can be here for me through my rough times. she is thinking on voulenteer oppertunities close to home for me yay im so happy at elast she is trying to understand i dont want to go far from here just need help finding oppertunities so i can spend time away from the house. so february has been a good and bad month all in all alright i guess. My counsoler would be proud of this blog post because i took the time to focus on some happy stuff in here i know sometimes i dotn do that enough but it all gets so overwhelming.
i also got to spend a few hours with a good friend of mine today it was really nice i just wish i was feeling better. we drove for an hour and i went to the bathroom before leaving and had to basically run to go agin when we got to the locatin we were going and then by the tiem we got back to her house for her to grab a few things i had to go again and then it was a total of fifteen minutes between getting to her house and going home and when i got here i had to go yet again. thsi si what I live with every day or nearly so some are good and yes this is alog with the endometriosis this is a recap of my intercystial cystitis the newest diagnosis. hope i have not bored you all to death lol i will update soon
Sorry to hear you've got more appointments but so happy that your Mom is willing to help you gain some independence. I like hearing the positive things too!
ReplyDeleteI try so hard to think of positives but boy sometimes its not easy. I usually kep mst of those things in a journal here at home but have no printer ink so now th eblog is sort of turning into my way of getting the positve thoughts onto paper in a way until i get more ink but ill try to remember to include some here too hows malayna doing
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