this post is for amy and emma

have to do this th hard way cause for some reason i cnt post to your blog today but wanted to say that I love your pictures of emma with daddy on the trike and that I looked into that justin beiber spelling may be off some that you said pretained to emma and listened to it and wow you are right it pretains to all of us with cp i put it no my play list thanks and emma can listen to it any time she wants when u r on if u follow my blog she looks so good on her trike

mor on the dogs

i got the crate back monday and they were excited wish they were not so camera shy or didnt hate it so much would have taken a pic of them in it my black lab barks at the camera and just anout anything lol hes a pain sometimes. Bu any how now that i have the crate back all i have to do is say bed and walk toward my room and they both get in no problem i used to have to give them a treat so i guess they just dont like wide open spaces at home by themselves now when it come to running of they dont have any issue with doing that lol they tend to like doing that too me ha ha they are brats for sure. Trying so hard to stear from medical stuff right now just need a break to think on something else. i cant believe this weekend it the fourth of july but im glad it is each day that passes is good for me i have been working on a jigsaw puzzle since monday as wwell didnt get too far with it cause my eyes get tired but its fun when i can manage to find pices lol other than that not much is going on with me besides medical and i dont want to talk on that subject right now lol im so done with it for a whileit is just getting to the point of too much stress with it right now and my goal is to live with as little stress ans I can
i hope everyone is enjoying their summer vacation and getting out of the house i havent much with my pain but im enjoying the things i can do that are positive and trying to keep up beat well i gues i should get going and find soemthing to do around here rather than computer time

something totally off of emdical issues for once

i had a really good day today. i am still having pain unfortunately but i dont expect much of a change but thats another post all together i said this one wasnt about medical so im gonna make it all on a different topic. One of my many kidos in life had her seventh birthday today oh my goodness how tiem flies. We got her a water slide and a scooterand went to her party. I saw her two sisters and brother too. her youngest sister is a month old amd i had more cuddle time today.
the down fall is when i got home after beign gone for three hours my dogs had destroyed the living room I am not goint to indulge in how they did it but needless to say it was a mess. they did it to me the other day as well when i went to my aunts with the fam for dinner ugh so needless to say the dog crate is comming back from aunties house and they will be in it when i leave I will not feel bad about it any more. I tried to let them have freedom and have run of the house and they can tbe good its either that they find new homes and i cant bear to have that happen even though they destroyed my stuff the other night and this time i still want them for company I am way too attached to part now after a year so yep they crate it is well that is my weekend.

how can people forgt about Cp

i was reading somones blog the other day and it said something to the affect of try to forget about the CP. i find this a littl difficult to do even though i hhave lived with it for 25 years now. I will admit that CP is not the primary focus of this blog like i wanted but there has been so much going on with me these days but i still never forget that I have Cp. Here are the reasons i don't forget it.
I can't run to play with my niece like she wants em to
I have trouble climbing up and down stairs and can not do this independantly if ther is no reiling
My muscles are alway tight and even though i hvae lived with this and am used to it it hurts at times especially when they spasm.
I can never drive because of my visual stuff and i am pretty sure it goes with CP even though the eye doc refuses to say so i know almost every person that I talk to with Cp hae visual issues.
I knwo ther are so many things I can do but I can not forget taht i have Cp this is impossible fort me to do and I am sure it is for any other perosn or parent of a child with CP. i have CP it is a part of me and it has nade me in part who I am i know i have it I am not ashamed to have it and frankly I dont want to forget that i have it yes i would love to be a regular fully functional person IE able to go up and down stairs that do not have rails independantly but i know that will not happen so rather than dwell on the things i can not do I treasure everything I can do but I do not forget I have Cp in fact I say I have CP it does not have me.
amy i really loved reaidng about Emma and look forward to keepiong in contact she is a very smart little girl i am gald that i started a blig and left it public i have met alot of great people this way sheila and we take it dayy by day are included too thanks for being faithful blog readers adnletting me learn about your beautiful Cp champs

not feeling so well tonight

I am having pain because of my endometriosis and it is really bad right now. I can't even explain it I have been fighting the urge to scream alot today. It is so frustrating to go through this. i think my blog is changing from being about My Cp to being about everything else. My CP doesnt affect my life as much as the other medical issues i gess i could say that the CP is a part of me and although it causes me some issues I am used tot hose ones even the pain of the spastic muscles is nothing compared to endometirosis pain and my bladder pain ugh. All in all though things are still going well just need to get through the next ten days then i have another break from the pain or at least i pray we never know with endo lol it has a mind of its own honestly. and for the new followers to my blog please feel free to post questions in your comments if you have anything you want to aks i will answer to the best of my ability

update on Ob visit

things are going pretty well in this department for now. I found out the full results to my bladder scope from her I have one biopsy area that shows damage to the mucus lining of my bladder which is consistant with the diagnosis Of IC which is what the GYN originally diagnised me as having good job again to her lol.
We talked about a few other things as welll the most proirity one for here is the pain and pulling on my left habd side in my ovary. I had to have another ultrasound in may which looked very similar as the precious ones minus the fact that there were a few cysts there. she told me with the ammount of endometriosis and scar tissue in there that having any cysts is enough to cause pain and i can say alot of it. the bad news is that if the pain gets tot he point where i can not function again it is another surgery so I will be praying that it remains unchanged for at least a few more years because it is pretty stuck there and im not yet willing to have another surgery especially not one where i know i am going to be missing a part of my female hood after it. I knew this was a possibility but to hear her speak of it again because of my pain really set reality in motion well that is my day today hope everyone else is good and oh the best news I do not have to get a new GYN yay for that so relieved

now i know for sure how hard it is to tell the difference

I have been in increased pain since late thursday night with my bladder and i was thinking i was in another flare. Well i guess not as i went to the express care today and was told that i had a UTI so lets see if it gets better with five more days of antibiotic. i am sotired of not being able to tell the difference of infection or just IC pain I am thankful that non of my family has this conditon if they did i would cry each and every day for them knowing what i go through all too often. i am now on Diet restrictions of no caffiene and low acid ugh yet more diet restrictions now it is getting to the point of not being able to eat the foods that my reflux can tolerate because of havign to restrict acidic foods. i am finding out the hard way that you are waht you eat letterally and you feel what you eat too ouch. i am not having an east time with monitoring my aid intake at all i love pizza and now know that i should really limit the ammount of it that i eat and spaghetti yes i like italian foods not good for low acid i dont eat it alot but gosh im not sure how to enjoy my pasta lol.
any how that is my weekend in a nut shell. not a very good one I do not eat oranges any more those are awful found that one with no help lolI did get some peppermint tea today and discovered that it is good with a little sugar. It is one of the drinks that is on the IC friendly foods list yay I can still have some form of tea or warm drink ans most others are out with the no caffiene thing

had a few awsome days so far

I have had a few great days pain wise. i almost feel like my old self right now my flare from surgery on the bladder is gone and i am doing everything in my power to keep it that way. I have had no caffine since surgery and am not really missing it either the uro advised it best to avoid anything that causes extra pain in my bladder so i have been caffine is one of them and so far i have basically found anything acidic to do the same so i have been trying to limit my acid intake but need to talk to them to see if there is a way to remove acid from foods if that is possible lol Im not so sure but it cant help to ask so i can eat teh things I love i made the more than likely mistake of eating pizza tonight for dinner lets see how long it takes to get me probably at least a day or so its mever within the first few hours with me but i cant take everyhting out of my life thats just not cool. well just wanted to update cause I am so happy right now and wanted others to know that happiness is still within my reach although sometimes it feels impossible

Uro appintment and a few other things

i had my uro appointment Friday. it went really well all things considered. I did ask if i could stay with the same person from here on out and the new orovider that i have was more than willing to allow that to happen. she is still in the same practice ans the others but she seems different already from the firs one that i had whom was not willing to deal with everything i have going on. I was just open and hones and told them that sometimes i require assistance with some personal things liek urine collection and the other things that are tougher for me and it is easier if istay witht eh same doctor so I dont need to explain things omany times and i would like to eventually be able to go in there and maybe not have to bring my possy as one of my other docs calls my ride and niece to feel comfortable I like to be able to do somethings on my own its not as awkward. I feel awkward sometimes when others are there with me even if it is my family but I am always thankfull in the end that i have them there.
i do not go back again for six months we would have done three but she will be on leav with a lil one and i dont wnt to see another provider so I settled for six and it give me a break to.
I met my lil niece friday she is a week old my best friends baby who i consider a sister. she is so adorable and tiny. I was so happy to be able to hold a lil baby agian. My dream is to be a mommy but with all these medical issues im not sure ill find the time to get my life together and even when that does happen I will have a hard time more than likely because of my moderate stage of endometriosis so im just taking things day by day right now an not losing hope of my dream since iw as sic yrs old.
I have had the best weekend in a long time and antoher good part is I have slept two nights in a row which is great. I had been up every two hours since tuesday until Friday night and then my bladder finally decided to calm down for a bit so ive been sleeping again which is os good so a wonderful weekend with a few moody moments just because things have gotten me down a bit.

wow not so sure this is good right now

I had the cath out yesterday and was able to go to the bathroom a good thing otherwise i would have required yet another one. scary thought lol. Well after that first trip to pee i have been going pretty much every 2 hours and yes this is at night too. so here goes the sleepless nights for a while again. praying it is not going to last and that I do not have an infction from the Cath but I go for yet another follow up on friday with yet another doctor or actually a PA but that is because i chose not to keep an appointment with the one i saw the very first time who didnt really make me feel comfortable at all so its my fault but im not sure why they dont put me in with the doc who actually did the surgery I am thinking aim going to ask that on friday. Every other operation that I have had i have seen the surgeon for follow up not someone totally different I am also going to ask if I am going to be put with a steady provider while under going treatment from here on out and if the answer is no than Im honestly thinking on changing to a different practice I am not one who likes different docs every time i walk into an oddice. I have had pretty good experience with the majority of the peopl i have met thus far in my quest for pain relief but that one experience which i have not shared and im not sure imm going to was enough that i dont want to continue changing doctors or ill continually be medically anxious every time I go there. I have been really upset thinking about the appointment Friday because i am nercous about meeting the new doctor and scared of what she will say or how she will react to my medical history I have had a few that have not treated me so well once they found that i had CP and that is unfair. i deserve to be treated like any one else and I would expect it even if i was a non ambulatory non verbal Cp sifferer. No one knows what they can understand they can't tell us but it does not mean they are not in there. it frustrates me to no end that even in this day and age people like us get treated like crap cause we are different and even by the medical comunity and yes that is part of the bad experience as soon as this person found that I had CP things went way south and it is not fair and that is why i refuse to see him/ her again no names being mentioned in fairness